Haven’t heard from/spoken to you in a while.

Am I the only person that feels an immense pressure to keep in touch with every person I know….? and its not a pressure they have put on me it’s a pressure I’ve put on me. I think in my mind it is the worry people will not like me because they have not heard from me or seen me in a while, yet I do not mirror that expectation of others to contact me.

Social media is a great thing and it is an easy way to keep up with how people are, but it adds another layer of pressure to keep contact with people because it makes it so easy…. my brain hurts.

Simple empty conversations are easy, and they usually do not last long, meaningful conversations take a lot more to engage with and can for people like me become exhausting. It is not that I do not want the conversations, it is that sometimes I just do not have the energy to have them.

As far as seeing people goes that also can be very exhausting, it does depend on the person and its not through any fault of that person it’s on me, all that’s needed of that other person to help is that they understand and appreciate that distance is a coping mechanism of mine it’s not there fault….. mostly…. some people are just a big no.

Its never a case of not wanting to speak to someone (the nice someone’s) it is a case of outing myself first so I can engage with someone properly and not half-heartedly. I get tired mentally writing these and I am basically talking to myself, I am hard work.

I care an awful lot about a lot of people and that doesn’t change just because I’m a little quiet or a little distant, it just means I may not be in the right head-space to talk or engage with multiple people multiple times all at once.

 

 

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